Resources for Family & Friends

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Suggestions for Succesful Communication

Bringing up the topic…

You might wonder how to bring up the topic of abortion with your family or friends. You could say something like:

  • I heard there are healing programs for people who have been hurt by their abortions. Did you know that?
  • Rachel’s Vineyard Ministries has weekend healing retreats all over the world.
  • Rachel’s Vineyard Twin Cities in MN has several weekend retreats a year.


Ask open non-judgmental questions…

If you are talking with someone and she or he shares they’ve had an abortion, ask very open questions, with no judgment or presumptions.

  • What was that like for you?
  • Did you have any support?
  • How do you feel about it now?
  • How do you think the abortion has affected you or your life?
  • Reassure her: “I’m sorry you went through that.”



You might reassure her or him, that:

  • You do not judge her for her choices and you still love and care about her.
  • It’s normal to feel conflicted about the abortion.
  • It’s okay to grieve the loss of your child.
  • It’s okay to feel angry at having to make that choice.
  • Reassure her that she’s not alone. There are many others who feel the way she does.
  • Rachel’s Vineyard is a weekend healing program that can help her heal from the traumatic experience.
  • The retreat can help her forgive herself, forgive others, connect with God and grieve her child.
  • Send her a link to our website: or to the national one: